As old as the stars and sky above,
Tonight the waves of the oceans aren’t his sisters’ hands luring him back home.
Tonight… there’s no difference between night and day
Only quiet madness
And herherherherher
Her
Her voice, her smile, her hand, her curse
And thirst
Tonight
Silence
Insanity
Beautiful doom
Her pulse?
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow maybe she will come
And save him like she’s done so many times without knowing
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow,
Maybe the piano keys won’t be so boring
in obeying his master and maybe the whisky will surprise him and make him a tad tipsy and then he could understand how she made music with her somber laugh that had him at the throat and no sonata could ever capture and none of his celestial siblings could recreate the miracle that she’d light up in his eyes and
how could something so human be so finely divine and my, would his wings suit her vibrant rays but no she didn’t deserve to bear such weight even if she could very well carry it herself, undoubtedly even better than him and perhaps he’d keep her shine to himself since the devil was selfish like that and perhaps he had heard someone say that happiness loves silence and he’d never again utter a word if it meant keeping her like this
Adoring
Heavenly
Sinful
Perhaps
He could close his eyes
And pretend
Yesterday
Never existed
Yesterday
When she’d gone
A little too pale
And much too cold
And how dare he give him a miracle only to have something to take away, something to bargain and she’s still so ungodly beautiful with a crease on her forehead and tears in her eyes and hands grasping to him like he’s her only savior when he’s only her death sentence that she’s sealed with a kiss and heavens he’s never felt so helpless, so hopeless in his miserable existence and to hell with his useless hands if he can only hold her as she withers away and nononononono
Yesterday
Never
Nothing
ungodly tales from fallen angels
M.C.
“No one will bless you”
“No one will save you”
“No one will kiss you goodnight”
But there you were
A prayer
In armor
Of iron
And gold
And the stars nestled in your chest
As a crescent cradle
of light
I hope your wings can carry both our heavy hearts
HE LOVES HER [X]
AND THIS IS THE PART
WHERE YOU LEARN IT WAS A MISTAKE,
DOING NOTHING TO ESCAPE FROM YOURSELVES,
BURYING THE PAST LIKE IT NEVER EVEN MATTERED,
ONE AND THE SAME, MAYBE
MEANT TO BE
RUINED BY EACH OTHER,
WILL YOU EVER FIND A HOME
TO FOSTER TWO MONSTERS?
OR MAYBE A SHELTER, AT LEAST?
no one stays till two am singing about
lovers who don’t bring each other down
maybe the stars,
have lied for once
about us, they never even
mentioned me losing you in the end;
— night of the truths.
(M.C.)
remember when her names didn’t confuse you and when her name was the easiest thing to utter (M.C.)
we almost confessed the suffocating truths
keeping us both soundly awake,
little did we know that in love and war
‘almost’ is always too late;
— be mine in secret
(MC)
OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS IM ACTUALLY SOBBING MY FUCKING HEART
1:47am
open your eyes
remember when she didn’t have to leave with the wind and her smell from the sheets and the heat of her cold embrace in the middle of the night like the ghost she swore she wouldn’t become and remember how her kiss brought you closer to death with every gasp for breath and the oxygen your fire needed so badly and remember when you thought so foolishly that the creaks on the floor could just once more be her footsteps coming for her sweet destruction
2:12am
remember when her names didn’t confuse you and when her name was the easiest thing to utter at 2am and when she changed it so the gods wouldn’t answer your prayers to hear your own name leave her lips in a beautiful sigh and not caring what she called herself as long as you called her your life
3:36am
does she know what it’s like being trapped inside yourself, in your own personal little hell with a front row seat to the ruins of the only thing that for a second made your forgotten heart beat trapped inside your ribcage, inside her merciless fist
5:01am
and do you even know anymore how you got here on this rooftop looking for her wrath or her eyes in the dawn that won’t rise or just the 5am chill to remind you of the shiver her touch sends down your spine and maybe you should leave yourself in this airy new embrace
1:59am
open your eyes
she’s back in bed
“You lied for a very long time.”
we almost confessed the suffocating truths
There was silence. Slowly, Kestrel said, “I did all that for you.”
keeping us both soundly awake,
Here was the truth, it peeled itself open: she was the reason she was in that prison. She had made some fatal, unknown mistake. Arin looked like a good culprit, but he wasn’t the right one.
little did we know that in love and war
It occurred to her that he might have taken the blame he didn’t deserve.
‘almost’ is always too late
be mine in secret by @quakefire + the winner’s kiss by marie rutkoski
“have you seen the light of my life?
she got lost somewhere among the stars,
one night”—M.C.
“don’t die on me” and it’s like she knows how you whispered her name in your sleep when the demons came to kiss you goodnight;
“please don’t leave me” and it’s as if she forgot who walked away first, pulled the trigger first, was left in ruins first;
“stay with me” and for a moment you forget her footsteps in your spilled blood and the wrath in her eyes and the dawn that won’t rise;
“i’m sorry” and it’s 3 in the morning and you refuse to leave her dreams without making her heart beat with the rhythm of fired shots at the sound of deafening cries;
“i’m so, so sorry” and maybe you believe her for a while because you’re suddenly afraid you don’t have enough time to say you don’t deserve an apology and you’re suddenly afraid of a world without her in it and suddenly you’re not afraid anymore because hell couldn’t be crueler than this very moment in which you’re the only one that knows how much you love her;
“don’t” and her embrace becomes too cold, and your eyelids too heavy and her tears on your lips and your blood on the tips of her fingers hold the salt of a thousand dead seas;
“no” and you find it in you, from the depths, the darkest places to grip her hand as tight as you can so that even death can’t do you apart, so that a few small armies are needed to take her away from you
“sleep well” and with a gun to her head she kisses you goodbye
i shall turn my tears
into a river and call it Styx
(and sail to you every night,
drink the poison from our lips);
i. your feelings can be most accurately described as:
a) having the life suddenly sucked out of your body
b) he’s gone
c) he’s gone and he’s not coming back
d) “how could you?”
e) “i never anticipated the feeling of him not existing anymore”
ii. please point out where you are hurting the most
a) lungs and throat - breathing somehow seems to be harder
b) you can swear it’s like taking shots to the guts
c) conversations with the ghost of him aren’t rare
d) heavy is the head
e) that useless thing locked away inside your ribcage
f) every-fucking- where
iii. on the scale of one to ten, how intense is the pain?
a) 8.5
b) 10 on a good day
c) sometimes a 5 in another man’s arms
d) 7 with questions left unanswered
iv. how much time has passed since the trauma?
a) what trauma?
b) 32 days
c) i am sometimes surprised the world is still spinning
d) too fucking long
v. did you have any last words you failed to share with him?
a) none
b) “i could’ve loved you enough”
c) “i’m sorry you were alone”
d) nothing he would believe anyway
e) “i’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for you”
f) “you could’ve been saved”
vi. do you know of his final thoughts?
a) “i would maybe sleep better if i didn’t”
b) they were of you
c) and he beamed because he knew it’d make you happy
(him dying and all)
d) and he hadn’t made you smile in quite a while
vii. do you still believe you could bring him back? (only one right answer)
a) yes
b) no
c) “ask me again when the storms run out of rain”
d) “nothing ruins me more than hoping”
e)
the doctors couldn’t cure you if they tried
(M.C.)
because @kisapandemonium hurt me immensely and i couldn’t help myself
inspired by goodnight, travel well
little broken man,
your heart’s a storm
far bigger than your bones
how do you survive the thunders?
are the hurricanes your home?
you’re nothing
but
a
little lost boy,
you found in the sky
a glimmer of hope
and tried to keep
her light for yourself
her light and
love
too much
yet
not enough
for the
foolish damaged girl,
broken in all the right ways
for all the wrong reasons,
for the sunlight you stole
and sunshine she gave,
just a few of her blinding rays
were enough
to keep you
at bay
don’t go
away
darling death-kissed boy,
i clung to you
like a sailor to a bottle of rum,
pouring poison into my wounds,
swearing i would never understand
why you always drowned in your mistakes
i did
i do
i’m sorry
my
little tired soldier,
have the rains calmed yet?
did the hurricanes and storms set you free?
did you miss me as much
and as long
as you tried
to
love me?
you
cursed
monstrous
boy
i thought you were
coming back
from the dead
don’t you know
i’d almost
taken you
home
to me
when you told me
not even
the
magic-made girl
could save
you,
little
broken
man